The Messy Postpartum Period
Childbirth is Overrated | Postpartum is Underrated
“Remember, you’re having a baby, not a birth.”
I see you over there in your sweatpants. You haven’t showered for days, your hair is messy, you are sleep deprived. No, let’s not even go there… Wouldn’t a mani / pedi be nice right now?
What else? Your vagina might hurt from a particular birth injury or an episiotomy; your breasts are engorged and leak. Milk is literally everywhere! Laundry’s lying all over the living room, dirty dishes are in the sink and you haven’t left the house in days. It’s all just a big mess!
Meanwhile, you’re trying to figure out this whole breastfeeding thing, taking care of your newborn and handling all the emotions that come with it. You feel like everything’s topsy-turvy. Your husband is probably at work and there you sit, all alone, trying to juggle it all.
I Can Relate
Oh, I so know how you feel. How it was to get through those 9 months planning for the big day. You focused so long and hard on your upcoming birth. You were mindful, you ate healthy, you listened to your birth affirmations, wrote a birth plan, etc. You did everything you were supposed to do because it’s all very important and will have an impact on how you feel afterwards. I’m a huge supporter of all that because it’s my goal to change the way we give birth.
Nevertheless, this focus ONLY does harm to the postpartum period.
Don’t get me wrong. As a HypnoBirthing Practitioner, I educate and guide pregnant women about how to achieve and experience their ideal birth. Often though, birth is seen as the finish line. But, it doesn’t stop there. There’s a completely different race afterwards. But do not fear, all you really need to do is prepare for the postpartum period, similar to how you prepared for birth.
My Personal Experience as a Mother of a Newborn
After I home birthed my first baby in 2007 and everyone left my house, I was all alone and felt nervous. There were plenty of times when I didn’t know what to do. I was totally overwhelmed and sleep deprived. Not to mention my emotional ups and downs, the bleeding, my sore nipples and then on top of all that, taking care of this little being.
I also experienced difficulties in breastfeeding. I felt guilty for not figuring it out and having to supplement with formula. It looked so easy for everyone else… Breastfeeding is natural but it may not come naturally to everyone. Nobody told me that back then though. My personal experience as a mother of a newborn wasn’t easy at all!
After the birth of my 1st child, I researched postpartum stress and educated myself about almost everything that had to do with postpartum issues. By the time my 3rd child was born, I felt so much better, I was calm and at ease with myself and my baby. Interestingly enough, my breastfeeding experience improved with every child. We all know the effects of stress on a breastfeeding woman. So instead, I embraced the fact that the postpartum period is not easy. I also accepted the fact that I should not feel guilty and that I’m NOT alone in this.
What is true for birth is true as well for the postpartum period. I believe that being supported by friends, other women, a Postpartum Doula or joining our HypnoMothering Postpartum Class will make all the difference in the world.
A Postpartum Doula is not like a midwife who stops by for 30 – 45 min. I mean somebody who really has time to listen and physically help you. Someone who might make some food or tea, fold your laundry while you talk or show you for the 10th time how to tie your MobyWrap. Someone who reassures you that everything is ok and that the postpartum period is often a challenge.
I wish I had somebody like that on my side back then. Since I struggled because my family lived far away and I felt overwhelmed and alone, I was encouraged to become a Postpartum Doula. I want to be there for you. I want to give you what I missed out on.
A Postpartum Doula
… is educating, loving, guiding, respecting, listening, embracing, facilitating and assisting women after birth.
Most importantly, she is doing all of this completely free from outside expectations or judgment towards you and your family.
This is what you get: Assistance and Guidance Right after Birth
“ Awital has been an amazing listener and she helped with strategies/schedules for our family. She also helped a lot with preparing food and tidying up. Everytime she left the place, it was like a fairy has passed! She was amazing! I wish I could have been with her earlier. :) ”
You tend to want to be perfect in everything: the perfect mom, wife, daughter, best friend, employee/boss, bridesmaid, hostess, etc. In doing that, you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself and end up feeling disappointed or exhausted. Even though you’re aware that what you’re doing to yourself is damaging!
Does this sound like you? Do you experience any of these emotions?
- Disconnection with others
If so, then please contact me and we’ll discuss how you’re feeling and what kind of support you prefer. I am here to guide and support you in the first few months after birth.