‚Tis the Season to Buy Presents – and LOVE?
How to Strengthen Your Family Relationship Instead of Buying Expensive Presents
The holiday season is upon us! As your child walks through the aisles with you in the store, do you get a little frazzled by all the stuff you’re expected to buy after hearing, ‚ooooh, I want this‘ or ‚wow, Alicia has that, can I have it too?‘ or some are so clever, they say ‚But you don’t have to pay for it, Mommy, Santa does!‘
Regardless if you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, gifts have become too important over the years.
I sometimes feel it is only about buying presents. You get those gift booklets in the mail and these companies are really clever. They insert stickers in the back of all the things the kids can get and then you can put together a sticker book. How easy is that?
We used to sit down writing letters to our grandparents, aunts and uncles and godparents, etc. and either made nice drawings or wrote a story about what we wanted…
My son showed me a Lego Technic picture of a Porsche. It only costs 320 CHF!!!! SERIOUSLY???? How absurd is that? At the same time, a global humanitarian crisis exists.
I’m raising 4 children; I know buying expensive presents should not be the main focus over the holidays.
Instead, it should be about strengthening my family relationship. Showing them what LOVE for each other really means and why we won’t buy these presents, but rather give money to people in need or even better, actively take part in activities to help others in need.
But if I allow it, I’ll end up buying expensive gifts for my children that will just be thrown to the side in a few months. Sure, they get played with, but not very often because they have grandparents, aunts, uncles and godparents too, meaning, they get showered with gifts anyways and can’t play with them all simultaneously.
It’s not their fault. It’s just the way it is because we tend to give our children things to show we love them. I cannot change the way other people act or what they believe is right, but I can change the way I handle the gift showering and what I want my children to learn from the Holiday Season.
We love to give and to take pleasure in giving and we should definitely not give that up.
Is The True Meaning of the Holiday Season Gone Forever?
Of course not, however, I believe gift giving is now stamped with monetary value and replaced the natural way of expressing our love and gratitude for one another. If you feel the same way, don’t worry, it’s a choice and you can make a few changes without disappointing your children.
I realize that I will never get away with not exchanging gifts ever again. I’m not talking about that per se. I’m thinking about becoming more mindful about holiday traditions and how we can connect more with each other. Not just during this time of year, but to make it the start of something new and beautiful over the years to come.
„If we hope to create a non-violent world where respect and kindness replace fear and hatred … We must begin with how we treat each other at the beginning of life. For that is where our deepest patterns are set. From these roots grow fear and alienation… – or love and trust.“
… and it All Starts at Birth – Because Birth Matters
While I was thinking about how to strengthen my own family relationship over the holidays, I came across this quote above and starting thinking about birth because birth truly matters.
If you have a positive and calm birthing experience, your baby will have the best start possible. If you’re calm during your pregnancy and birth, your baby is calm. If you’re stressed, well, guess what? This rule applies to after birth as well.
Birth is not about science or your body or doctors or midwives, it’s about family. As you may have already experienced or are about to experience, the connection to your own family becomes even stronger with the birth of your baby.
Unfortunately, we can’t rely on birth to keep our family bond strong. We’re not factory moms spittin‘ ‚em out every year. We obviously have to do other things.
My one wish for you this holiday season is to continue strengthening your family relationship, not only during birth or over the holidays, but beyond. I’ve listed a few ways below to give you a few ideas.
Ways to Connect with Your Baby
- Just be there and watch your baby during their quiet observation moments.
- Keep appointments to a minimum. My rule: no more than 1 appt. per day.
- Play mimic games: peek-a-boo, make the same noises your baby makes, make over exaggerated faces, etc.
- Dance to your baby’s favorite music.
- Sing. Regardless if you can sing or not, your baby just wants to hear YOUR voice.
- Read touchy-feely and picture books from the very beginning.
- Cuddle. A lot. Babies need to be close and want to be held.
- Let your partner take over a few rituals, such as bathing or night-time reading. Don’t do all the work, let him bond too. That gives you some ‚me time‘, so take advantage of that!
- …
Ways to Connect with Your Family
- Start a new holiday tradition.
- Turn off all your electronic gadgets and play a board game.
- Cook and eat as many meals as possible together.
- Join a class together. e.g. Yoga with your daughter. Taekwondo with your son. Classic dance with your partner.
- Plan your vacation together and involve your children in the decision-making process.
- Renovate your children’s room with them. Let your children paint. Or better yet, rip off wallpaper!
- Answer questions by researching together on the internet.
- Read to them. Once they’re old enough, let them read to you.
- Plan their birthday parties with them.
- Hire a babysitter and schedule a date night alone with your partner.
- Give the gift of entertainment and adventure instead of things, e.g. concert, musical, day trip, ballooning, water skiing, etc.
- Buy a cucumber, facial mask, bath salt and enjoy a spa day at home.
- Look at family photos together.
- …
„Birth is not about science or your body or doctors or midwives, it’s about family.“
Give the Gift of Gratitude and Respect this Holiday Season
There are tons of ways to strengthen your family bond. Ways that show more gratitude and love than the latest xbox release or lego invention.
I truly believe that if we teach our children how to show gratitude in natural ways, we will give them the best gift we can give and our future generations will be kinder and more respectful to others and nature because of it. Call me a dreamer.
With that said, I want you to experience the most positive birth you can have and for you to give your baby the best start.
Here is my gift of love: If you sign up for one of my courses by December 23, 2016, you will receive 10% off! Please use this gift code: HolidayGiftOfLove2016
I wish you the most loving and peaceful holiday season you can experience. Enjoy your family and cherish all the amazing little things they bring to your world.
Warmly,
