Not Everything Works According to Plan
Good Intentions Down the Drain
The New Year started a few weeks ago and you made some New Year’s resolutions and are probably still on track with them, right? Or maybe you already dismissed them and thought, ‚oh well, it’s not working out anyway‘, or something more important came up. Maybe you didn’t even go there this year and set no goals for 2017. With no vision, you’re just moving along in stride.
OR maybe you’re like me and planned your resolutions for 2017 and then the total unexpected happened and you weren’t even able to finish writing them down. What a shame!
Everything looked so promising for the New Year, lots of planning, mind-mapping, good energy, journaling, visualizing, etc. It’s 3 weeks into 2017 and you’re finding yourself in the same groove you were in just before Christmas, when everything was hectic and busy.
You’re now asking yourself ‚What now? How can I get out of this “hamster wheel” and make this a really good, exciting and fulfilling year?‘ I hear you.
Our Own Version of ‚European Vacation‘
My family and I were really looking forward to our Christmas break. Spending time with each other, just living in the moment, relaxing, sleeping in and spending lots of time outside in nature. The plan was to fly to Finland where we previously lived for 4 years. It’s our favorite vacation spot. This tiny place of ours is our sacred place, our sanctuary. It’s our 2nd home where we can recharge.
To make a long introduction short, we were just looking forward to having some quality time as a family. With 4 exhausted children in tow, we arrived around 9 pm. All we wanted to do was go straight to bed. Instead, we walked in to find our vacation home flooded!
Wherever we stepped, the water was gushing up from the flooring panels. I can still feel and hear the squishiness under my shoes. Water was everywhere and even some walls were destroyed.
There was this humid, moldy smell in the air too. Ugh, it was awful!!!
I had a tired and cranky 18 month old in my arms and an extremely disappointed 5 year old who just wanted her bed. My 2 older kids were able to cope a bit better.
All I remember is having that feeling of relief after finally arriving from a long day of travel one second to that immediate reality slap in the face of the actual situation.
This was real and it was a nightmare!
I needed a few minutes to just breathe and clear my mind. I could not let my emotions take over. I had to be strong for my kids and myself. I had to think straight and quickly make decisions.
The only thing I could think of was my recent blog post about why HypnoBirthing works. In that post, I explain the whole philosophy behind it and how it has always helped me in the past, way beyond birth. It honestly helps me deal with challenging life situations. To sum it up: it’s all just a matter of choice, your mindset and your attitude.
„You can’t change the circumstances, but you can control how to deal with it.“
OK, I Breathed. Now What?
There was no time for anything. We had to act quickly, find a new place to stay, get the kids to bed and make sure everybody was safe and felt loved and taken care of despite anything else. The mess can be taken care of tomorrow. And so it was.
Later that night after the kids went to bed, I breathed deeply. I was trying to focus, be in the moment and bring up all the positive things in my life. I needed to remind myself how fortunate I am, of all that we have, all we achieved and the LOVE we have in our family because that is what really matters most.
The reality was that nobody was hurt. We were all healthy!
So often I take these things for granted. Stopping to realize all this unbelievable fortune helped me cope and know that this is not the end of the world. I truly believe that things happen for whatever reason, but most important is how we deal with them and how we approach solving problems.
Why am I telling you this?
You are either pregnant, a new mommy or have been a mom for quite some time.
Challenging moments happen in life. They come up during pregnancy, during motherhood, during everyday life.
The question is how do you deal with them? Are you throwing in the sponge, giving up, letting yourself hang and just sink into self-pity?
I honestly believe some mourning is healthy only if we are able to get out of it and find ways to deal with every situation.
If something comes up during your pregnancy e.g. gestational diabetes, you do everything to solve the situation, make it better, even heal it totally with dietary changes, right? You do everything possible to assure your baby is healthy.
„Challenging moments happen in life. They come up during pregnancy, motherhood, during everyday life. How do you deal with them?“
It’s Your Choice
As mentioned above, you always have a choice. You can flip out, get mad and be disappointed or harsh to yourself or others. All these feelings can build up in your head. Believe me, they all popped up in my head that evening. I, however, made sure they did not take over. I did not let them develop further. They arrived at my door, but I did not let them in.
Always keep in mind, you choose which path you want to go.
Tools to Help You Choose Wisely
With HypnoBirthing, we have several drawers to open and in each one, there are some goodies, some tools to help enrich our lives during pregnancy and birth.
These tools are:
- Breathing techniques
- Relaxation exercises
- Positive birth affirmations
- Visualization exercises
- Self-confidence building techniques
With that being said: it is in your own hands. It’s up to you to decide how to deal with the unexpected situations we have no control over.
Preparation Helps You Take Control Immediately
I’m sure you already know that you control your own happiness. But remember back to when you gave birth. Was it an amazing experience or just not quite how you pictured it? And breastfeeding? Did it work out immediately or only after 3 months?
If you had any unexpected problems during birth or the postpartum period, how did you feel at the time? Would it have been better for you emotionally to have had a more positive outlook on the situation? Just always know that you are in control of your own happiness even if it’s not exactly according to plan.
There’s a lot you can do to prepare for Plan A and B, but you need to take action now to learn how to use these tools to be able to handle future unexpected situations immediately. Sign up today and get your free guide to a gentle birth.