Why I do not enjoy being around my kids 24/7
„OMG did she just say that?“
„You cannot say that!“
„Some people wish more than anything to have kids and you just said you don’t enjoy being with yours?“
„Ahhh cool, at least somebody said it out loud!“
Which one was your reaction?
Boy, do I understand why people choose not to have children. Why?
Because it’s the hardest freaking job in the whole wide world, that’s why!
A mother’s job description to a T!
How it all began
Ok, let’s start from the beginning. I grew up in a big family with 3 siblings and always loved all the action and yes, sometimes I would have loved isolated attention from my parents, but it was all good. I never questioned family life and knew I wanted to have children. Lots of them. ☺ Maybe this was due to my Jewish heritage, where offspring is a huge blessing.
Anyway, the day finally came and I got pregnant and oh, it was so exciting! Elijah was born and my journey began.
From the day Elijah was born though, everything changed. It was really rough for me in the beginning. It was challenging once I realized I couldn’t just get up and go wherever and whenever I wanted to.
I found it difficult to switch between emotions of having this enormous LOVE for this tiny little being and being bogged down by this LACK of ENERGY and FREEDOM. There is so much love you have never felt before and at the same time; there is so much responsibility.
There are tons of beautiful moments and then there are days I wish I were that single hot sexy girl or that young couple with no kids again. Life is not all bright and flowery like in a picture book though. No, no, LIFE is way more than that!
Think about it. Life sometimes comes our way and it just happens. It’s good to acknowledge it and not fight against it because if we do, we’ll start to get frustrated and that’ll be the end of the love story.
„This mothering role will teach you more about yourself than you ever expected.“
So I knew what I had to do. I slowly learned to accept the new me and my new situation, but I needed some time. I realized that it will never be the same as before, but in a good way.
I think once you start to accept the new situation and the new you, you can always find ways to make it amazing for yourself and your family.
The key is to find ways to spark little moments. And I know it’s not easy. We usually make resolutions and it works for 2 weeks and then think, ‚oh well, I didn’t have time for Yoga or running this week. Heck, I didn’t even shower today.‘
But don’t give up! We all fall, but then we just stand back up again and start over and over again.
We can actually learn a lot from our kids. I often just watch Sarah, my little one who is now 15 months old and not quite walking yet. She’ll fall and get up and try again. She’ll fall, get up and try again, tirelessly, all the while, she’ll be laughing. She is so happy and screams out with joy when she succeeds. Then I think, „omg, I can learn so much from those tiny little beings.“
Listen to Your Inner Self
We can also learn a lot from ourselves by just listening. Take a few moments now and just spend time with yourself. I know it’s friggin‘ hard sometimes, but just try.
Ask yourself: What makes me happy? How can I feel like myself again? What do I miss most?
But don’t just answer these questions, act upon them!
How You can Rejuvenate:
- Shower and wash your hair with nobody calling or disturbing you
- Treat yourself to a cappuccino with a friend
- Ballet, yoga, running, any type of sport activity
- Book a ManiPedi
- Cook, make a smoothy or juice or experiment with healthy foods (my own personal hobby)
- Guided meditation
- Work, if you love it as much as I do!!!
- Journal, keep a gratitude book
- Listen to good music
- Go to a concert
- Enjoy a spa day
„Once you start to accept the new situation and the new you, you can always find ways to make family life amazing.“
Do whatever makes you happy and feel like YOU again
I never wanted to give up everything for my kids. I wanted to stay true to myself. WHY?? Because I am a person too. I am not the daughter of my Dad or the sister of my brother or the MOM of… (of course, I am as well). What I mean is that I have a name, AWITAL! I love my kids and my husband like everybody expects me to :) but I AM ME as well. I love cooking, I love spending time with my friends, I like outdoors sports and having TIME FOR MYSELF, ALONE!!!
Only if we feel like humans and treat ourselves well, will we be able to give back to others. I know this to be true; when my needs are truly met, I am a much better mother and less stressed. Life is peaceful and enjoyable.
I’d like to share another little secret with you now. If you start to open up about these things, you may be amazed to hear how many of our friends experience the same feelings. Sometimes, it just feels so good to share!